When my old dog, Rachel, died two years ago, I was taken aback by the depth of pain that I felt. As a long-time therapist, including former bereavement counselor, I thought I knew how I would feel when it came time to let her go. The reality was so much more. A dog, ("god" spelled backwards), gives unconditional love, as do other pets as well. Perhaps because our hearts are so open to them, the grief over their loss can sometimes feel even more profound than with human loss. WE know that our pets are so much more than just a dog or cat.? The deep attachment we develop can trigger many emotions when they die...remorse, anger, anguish, extreme sadness, even guilt over feeling relieved.

These powerful feelings deserve to be experienced and expresssed as respectfully as any other emotions. Even other household pets are known to mourn the departure of their companions. By accepting our own grief and seeking healthy outlets, we can also assist other household members, human and animal alike. Such compassion and comfort are the right of all living beings. It helps to know that there are others who do understand and care, for often you will hear unsupportive comments. "Just go get another one." "You’ll get over it." "Stop dwelling on it." "It’s only a bird." These comments usually come from a desire to help, but often feel insensitive to the broken-hearted. It is self-caring to be true to your feelings and to the now radically-changed relationship with your pet.

Talking with another animal-lover can help. Grieving takes as long as it takes. Arranging for a memorial ceremony may help bring closure. Allowing others to listen can heal your loneliness.

Each person’s grief is both unique and universal. Your special circumstances may include explaining death to children, dealing with accidental death, deciding to euthanize, taking care of the remains, or knowing when to seek professional help. Other considerations include preparing for the loss of an aging pet, and trusting your heart to make room for another animal companion when the time is right later on.

As I write this in longhand, my kitty,Sara, who knew and loved Rachel, has nestled in my papers. (You know how cats and papers are.) Rachel shared her love with us both and we are now at the moment of sharing ours with you. Reaching out is where the healing finally happens.

This article contributed by Sylvia Edmonds, Pet Loss Counselor (941) 957-1027.